Struggling?

Aihz,been sticking with this word alot since my come back to SMI

What is actually wrong with me right now?

Nowadays i always try to express my problems in front of the crowd but i cant.
Maybe coz those who knew me would rather think i am just crapping,
coz i used to crap alot ~.~

But now i aint crapping and i'm not acting to be emotional
Its just that alot of things have been playing in my mind,

Now the biggest prob is how i going to continue my live in spite of alot of factors needed to be consider,

1st up,FINANCIAL,
As you guys know i chose to be back in form 6 coz of this but after i'm back i realize i still face the same problem,daily life's expenses is high eventhough i tried to not to hang out alot.
For this,i'm finding the solution,its either work or invest myself in the IRC thingy,
it depends

2nd,TRANSPORTATION,
Arhhh,this troubles me alot since i'm already 18 i got alot of things awaiting me to do including going to school and tuitions and socializing,transport is a big problem for me,
So,i've been discussing wid ma parents to get me a BIKE,yea~
But 1st i needa license for that,for ur info my license only for D class which is the car
I needa get it doen ASAP aites

3rd,STUDIES!!
I dunno y i put it as 3rd placing although i worry it the most,
I realise i can concentrate on it if i really does,thats how i catched up my chemist,at least for now
Remember the time i said stuck in the decision to change stream?
I've made my choice,stay in Sc stream instead of taking risk to drop out in both stream
Plus now i am involved in the color guards,study might be tough for me,
So,now i 've decided to have a time out on my studies for,
time out as in loosen it abit la not completely put down =.= i'm not that genius u know

Eeyer,my life's a crap man,how can i deal wid it,grr

Aites enough for those things la,next up is some update on wad i've been doing
For the pass 2 weeks,

Same la,Color guards practice,i found it kinda fun though,being wif the cg frens,during prac have fun alot though we know we needa be serious,then after prac go yum cha
And then, alot of frens been coming back Ipoh,
Watched this show wif my buddies

Its nice though some said its boring,really give us some twist about the storyline,

Then few days ago which is 1 week after i watched it
I went out at night to hang out wif adriann,alvin and yanhoe,
We went snooker,woots,i am able to close the game by potting in the black ball =D
Oh yea we went to cc too for a few rounds
On that same night i tried to contact Wei Han(one of my ns good friend) too,almost failed but luckily saw him online and ask him,

So,i succeed in contacting him and he came down to Ipoh yesterday,
1st up we went to old town kopitiam
and then the cc bside for few rounds too,(he suggested it) though i prefer we sit down have a drink for few hours =p,he cant bear wif it...
We won 1st round and lost the 2nd round maybe coz some of the teamwork issues,
He's not bad btw though i dun say i'm good,
Caught you muahahaha,always love to see his serious expression

P.S:
gonna let my lobe piecing heals,not really suits me and when it completely closed up,my life would be different,used it as my starting point =D

All i had to say...

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

It's a shame that it had to be this way
It's not enough to say I'm sorry
It's not enough to say I'm sorry

Maybe I'm to blame
Or maybe were the same
But either way I can't breathe
Either way I can't breathe

All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way

I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive
Cause everything were been through
And everything about you
Seemed to be a lie
A guiltless twisted lie
It made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by

All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way
All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way

And every, everything isn't only
What it seemed so hold these
Words that you never told me
Its time to say goodbye
Its time to say goodbye
Its time to say goodbye
Goodbye

Bye

Take my pain away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my pain away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my pain away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

1st few days of school

Wow,i'm back in smi as you all know,1st day in school and i'm all lost and blur,

whether its the environment nor the studies i understand.

For your information,now i'm in the band's competition line as a
Color Guard(the one who play with the flag instead of instrument)
Watch here for info
those with flags and rifles are the CG

It is kinda hectic for me to suddenly take up this role as soon as i'm back in my hometown
Is because that i haven't settle down and something just cramp in between those things
Studies,color guards,lifestyle everything has to be taken care of

What i really want now is to keep on track my studies,finish my color guard formation
and changes my lifestyle and myself to a betta person

Thats all i want now,dun wanna think so much
I know that something is not easily to be forgotten but time cures

Oh,btw,have been back for so long still haven't reveal the my life in NS,
Ntg to say,pictures says it all

My so called gang in NS,(just posing,not really that bad ass =D)


My gang also but its the good ones,the ones that i wouldn't forget
All the bro and sis in Christ =D


Friends during wirajaya night,unforgettable moments

Padang kawad of Segari camp

Eating hall(caution:kinda hot inside)

Dorm's pathway

Hangout place,beside the sea,windy area though it should be a
RESTRICTED AREA,yea,u know,rules are menat to be broken =X

Basketball court,share wif futsal ><

TKJ,the JL i respect the most,fit in trainings and wise in doing things
Fulemak,how many years more only i can catch up to him ><

Thats all for now,these days wanna online also hard,
Wont be seeing me much onlining,
So,ciao =D

"Keep going DESMOND!!"
Monitor my self progress will ya guys
Thx Buais

Kick Start!!

Its been few days since i came back and now the school holiday is reaching the end,I'll be back in SMI to start my form 6,though i'm late but i'll try to catch up the happenings in school.

But it is really my own choice to go for form 6?Or i just following what my parents would want me to choose?For this,i dunno whether its right or not for me to not burden my parents and choose the path where i will surely suffer alot.

Ppl will be asking why i said so?The answer is simple,coz i can't study well,i know myself,i'm the type that can't study hard though i wanna do so.Even if i tried ntg would enter my brain and the worst part is this attitude is an attitude that must'nt have in studying form 6. >.< Imagine a 9/10 A student suffering in form 6.

And i'm not saying that entering college with this kind of attitude is save,NO.I will change this attitude in either path i choose but i won't suffer so much in college at least..

Anyway,i've made my choice and i'm going,no turning back for me
Just bless that i can make it through,

SMI,here i come!! AGAIN =.=

END OF JOURNEY IN PLKN SEGARI

So,i finished my national service and now back in Ipoh,
I learned alot of things and met alot of friends in there,most of you might say that NS is suffering and waste of time though i admit its quite a waste of time 3 months in there lost contact with the world outside but its really worth it i can say.
As for me i learned alot of things and i'm glad that i met some friends inside that made me realise who am i truly is and what kind of attitude that needed to be get rid of in me

Who am i truly is?I'm a good or a bad person? I dunno
The only thing i know is that i'm quite fake in front of everyone
I hide alot of things from everyone,i admit that i am really playful and nvr really got serious in most of the things but i am really serious in making friends,i nvr want to lose friends in my life.

I'm so sorry that i made some of you my friends that i never have been a good friend to u guys,seriously sorry for what i've done n said to make u all mad at me
,since now most of us left to live our own way i just hope that we'll keep in touch and stay friends forever =D,

I'm being quite depress this moment mostly because i think alot regarding my future life,i know that i must make a choice now or else i'll regret as what i regretted for all this while,i regret that i never be serious in what i do,i regret that i never learn things well but regretting is not a thing to do for now,i know i must make a move and move forward.


Arghh,alot to be done before back to schooling,registeration,stationaries,uniforms,books..........

Needa go and prepare di,Ciao =D

Dun worry,be happy =D

Gonna miss Friends in NS alot and friends that went to study
You all will always be in my heart =D


BYE BYE